no matter how much i cry,

no matter how much i beg,

and no matter how much i want to be better,

i dont change.

welcome old habit— i thought i had outgrown you.

seeing the blood drip out of my arm,

i want more. but im scared.

i wish i could take it to my neck,

one clean slice. and itll all be over.

i deserve nothing. nothing. nothing.

i hope i die on the way there.