I just want to cry.

Mistake after mistake. Second chance after second chance. I squander everything given to me.

I reek of regret. Of wasted potential. And of ineptitude.

I want to cry. But I don’t think I deserve to. After all- everything has truly been my fault. I am not a victim. How can I dig my own grave and cry when I’m buried?

I deserve to be skinned and then scalded. I know what’s wrong with me, but everytime I try to fix it, it never works. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate me. I hate me. I hate me.

I hate the fact that I’m saying this. I hate the fact that I’m ranting, especially to an audience of zero. I hate the fact that I need to write this out.

I just want to cry. But the tears don’t come out. I know I don’t deserve to.

I’m so alone. I have nothing. And I’m sorry mom.

I deserve nothing.